Domestic Violence
What is Abuse
An abusive relationship describes a relationship where one person consistently and constantly uses tactics to psychologically, physically, financially, emotionally, and sexually control and have power over another person. A relationship that is considered to have domestic violence is a relationship where there is an imbalance of power. – defined by the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
Crossing the Line
If any of the following are happening in your relationship, then it is a relationship with a serious problem.
Physical Abuse – Pushing, hitting, kicking, choking, suffocating, spitting, grabbing, anything that is physical touch that is unwelcome.
Verbal Abuse – Screaming, cursing, name calling, negative comments about the other person’s appearance, likes, or interest.
Threats – Threatening to harm or kill you or your loved ones (including pets). Threatening to take things from you (money, medication, sleep, house, kids, friends, freedom)
Destruction of Property – Whether it's yours, theirs, or both, if they are breaking items to try and control you or scare you this is not safe.
Control – Keeping you from leaving a room or home. Not allowing you to have access to a phone if you need help. Not allowing you to have access to food, medication, or finances.
If you have observed some of these behaviors, and don’t feel like your life is in jeopardy, please seek out a trusted adult that cares about your well being and speak with them on your options. These behaviors need to be stopped immediately.
You may also seek out professional help about how to handle your unhealthy relationship.
If your relationship has some of these behaviors above, and you are fearful for your life, please get to a safe location and call 911.
Red Flags of Potential Abuse
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Someone who insists on moving too quickly into a relationship
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Someone who does not honor your boundaries
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A partner who is excessively jealous or possessive
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Someone who criticizes or makes negative comments about your appearance
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Someone who’s words and actions do not go together
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Someone who does not take responsibility for their behavior
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Someone who blames others for their failures and difficulties
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Anyone who has history of battering
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Someone who grew up in an abusive, violent home
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Someone who has stereotypical views of sex roles
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Someone who tells you how you should feel or tried to talk you out of your feelings
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Anyone who makes frequent and harsh derogatory remarks about others
*******Many of these listed signs of abuse may not indicate potential abusive behavior. It is important for you to not dismiss these red flags and take time to explore them further. It may be helpful to take time to get to know a potential partner of abuse by watching for patterns of behavior in a variety of settings.
Elements of Physical
Elements of Physical Abuse
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Pushing or Shoving
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Slapping or biting
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Kicking or Choking
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Hitting or Punching
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Throwing object at partner
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Holding partner or preventing her from leaving
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Locking partner in/out of the house
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Abandoning partner in a dangerous place
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Threatening or hurting the partner with a weapon
Dynamics of Domestic Violence and Elements of Emotional Abuse
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Continually citizens, calls names, or shouts at partner
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Insults and/or drives away partners friends and family
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Takes car keys and/or money away
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Abuses pets to hurt partner
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Manipulates partner with lies or contradictions
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Regularly threatens to leave or tells partner to leave
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Ridicules partners most valued beliefs: religion, race, heritage or class
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Ignores partners feelings
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Punishes children when angry with partner
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Withholds approval, appreciation or affection as punishment